Count Olaf's Secret
by HellerKM
Summary: A re-imagining of The Bad Beginning.  When the Baudelaire orphans are left with the evil Count Olaf, it looks like things couldn't get worse, but what happens when they discover one of his hidden secrets?


On the Baudelaires' long road trip to Count Olaf's house, Violet was acting like a mom to Sunny. "That's a tree, that's a bush." Said Violet.

"Who's driving this car?" said Klaus.

"Jiblehoom" said Sunny, which at this point means 'Mr. Poe, of course.' As they pulled up to Count Olaf's huge house they saw him at the foot of his porch steps. They all got a bad feeling about him.

"He's UGLY!"said Violet.

"Yinccume!" shouted Sunny, a phrase which here means 'Ya got dat right, sista!'

Before letting out a brief cough, Mr. Poe said " Here's your new home, kids."

"Hello, children." Count Olaf said approaching them with a creepy grin. All three children were nervous, but Violet made the first introduction.

"H-hello sir my name is Violet, this is my brother, Klaus" she motioned to Klaus who nodded as she did. "And this is my younger sister, Sunny" He took them into the house as she spoke, but when they were all inside, he slammed the door shut, and his mood changed completely.

"I don't care what your names are, Brats! All I care about is that fortune your parents left you, and I will have it!"

Violet and Klaus stepped back in fear, but when Sunny heard this she said in defiance

"C-Wizzy," which here means 'I don't know 'bout you, but this ain't ballin', aight.'

Later that night, Sunny made her move. It was a minute till midnight and a fierce lightning storm rolled in over the house. Count Olaf and Sunny were standing face to face, Sunny dressed in a matrix style trench coat, while Count Olaf was dressed in a suit and tie. Although, Count Olaf had to look down at Sunny, the child was not intimidated, for under Sunny's trench coat was a submachine gun of extremely high caliber. Count Olaf had no weapons to speak of but still looked confident. They stared each other down for a minute or two, until a strike of lightning shook the whole house. Sunny took her opportunity, and fired a mass of bullets at the evil count. When the smoke cleared, though, Sunny was shocked to see the older man was still on his feet, with his arm up, and his fist full of bullets. He had caught every last one.

As he heard the sound of the bullets being fired, Klaus bolted in to the room. "What's going on in here?" Klaus said.

"At long last," Count Olaf spoke. "I've finally found an opponent worthy of my super powers!" Count Olaf started to rise from the floor, his hair turning gold, and his eyes bright blue. "You see, Sunny, I am a SUPER SAIYAN!" Klaus gasped in fear, but Sunny was undeterred, in fact she was smirking in confidence.

Unfazed, Count Olaf began his attack. Cupping his hands, he belted the word "KAMEHAMEHA!" At that a beam of white light shot from his arms at the two children. Sunny was quick to dodge, but Klaus who was busy adjusting his glasses, was not so lucky.

Trying to warn him, Sunny shouted "Gaheeboo!" Which here means ' Klaus, look out!'

"Hmm? WHOA-" And with that, Klaus had disintegrated.

Count Olaf and Sunny had now begun fist fighting. Their fists moved so fast that their arms were a mere blur. At first, neither side seems to have an advantage, but Count Olaf quickly gained the upper hand, grabbing Sunny by the neck. Sunny tried to punch her way out of Olaf's grip, and though her blows were strong, Count Olaf was stronger. There looked to be no way out. Sunny, champion warrior of the Baudelaires was defeated.

"Did you honestly think you could defeat me?" Count Olaf taunted. "I've achieved a power level 5 times higher than anything you've ever attained!"

It was at that moment that Violet walked in. Not caring about her dead brother, she said "Here, Sunny! I invented something to enhance your fighting skills by 200%!" She through a metal device to Sunny, and it latched on to her forehead. Still, even with her sister's invention, she was no match for the super saiyan. Count Olaf squeezed her neck until her head popped off. Count Olaf then, feeling proud of himself, walked off, leaving Violet crying on the floor. Later that night, Violet finds an axe in Count Olaf's vast selection of 1700s battle weapons, and kills the count in his sleep.

THE END

**Thank you. I know this story was rather impressive, but that's what happens when an author of my level decides to start writing. Seriously, though, it's my first work, so I may be a little rusty, but I hope I can improve and gain some fans in the process. So, with that said, remember to review. I love you guys!**


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